Do you have any non-Christian Friendships?

Alien cocoon!

(HT: Image pslim)

“I have no non-Christian relationships” confessed one of my evangelism coaching clients (shared with permission).

“I was taking an inventory of my personal relationships and discovered that I had surrounded myself entirely with Christians.”

In the Christian Cocoon

This is a common description of many Christians who have been walking with the Lord for many years.

I once asked a church where I was preaching: Where are the new believers? They realized they didn’t have any non-Christian relationships.

I recently did a evangelism workshop on personal evangelism with nearly 80 people in attendance and all had known the Lord for at least 15 or more years.

In my experience, I could easily guess that many of these, if not all, would confess the same lack of relationships with people who do not walk with the Lord.

A Christian without an unchurched friend is like a dash of salt in the ocean: it doesn’t do anyone any good and, frankly, no one even knows it’s there. — Bill Tenny-Brittian, Hitchhiker’s Guide To Evangelism

Practical Exercise

Let’s take a moment to look at your significant relationships.   Think of people you choose to spend time with on somewhat of a regular basis.

Make a list of friends who immediately come to mind.  Try to name as many as possible in the next 60 seconds.

Write those names down.

Now look over the list.

  1. Who goes to church with you? Cross them off this list.
  2. Who attends another church regularly? Cross them off.
  3. Who shows evidence of a relationship with Christ? Cross them off.
  4. Who is left?
  5. Do you have anyone left on the list?

What now?

Where you surprised by the results quick little exercise?

What will you do about it?

If you have  plenty of non-Christian and unchurched friends, what do you do to maintain those relationships?

If you have few such relationships, what will you do this week that can start to change that?

Share your responses in the comments below.

Related posts:


  1. Nancy J. Robinson says

    I counted 6 in the people who came to mind in 60 seconds. Four are of a Christian background, but do not attend church. Two are Muslim, but are not living where I see them regularly; I keep in touch by e-mail, cards, and rare visits. The relationships I feel as though I need, though, are people in this community who are struggling the most, and possibly have no relationship with God. So far I have not succeeded in spending the time and creativity to make those relationships.

    In response to your questions of what do I plan to do about it, I plan to at least follow up with some children in the neighborhood whom I met recently in publicizing an after-school activity of our congregation.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *