Drifting Away from the World
In They like Jesus, but not the Church, even Dan Kimball confesses that he made the same discovery at one point– no non-Christian relationships.
As I have given relational evangelism training seminars around the US and Latin America, the most common confession I hear from those who have walked with Christ for many years
I don’t have any unchurched friends.
The gradual change
For those with an adult conversion experience, they often notice that when they first come to faith, they have a lot of connections with unreached or unchurched people.
As their worldview changes with their new found faith, new relationships form in the church, values change, and social networks change. It’s a natural process and one that is actually very helpful for discipleship.
It’s a drifting away from the world.
But the obvious downside is that one may forget to maintain the prior relationships and is suddenly in the cocoon of
Doing church — committee meetings, bible studies, and other volunteer activities.
Busy life transitions — various seasons of life have time commitments that minimize our ability to preserve friendships. The constant rush from one activity to the next. Example: young kids growing older often leads to more extra activity to keep up with sports, music, or other clubs. Parents move to chaperone and
Isolation through Technology — using computers, cell phones, iPods and iPhones, we connect with those we want to, no longer taking the time to even notice the people around us. I notice this more and more when I’m in American airports watching people while waiting for my next flight.
The cocoon forms.
It’s natural and happens with nearly everyone.
Pastors included
When I was pastoring a local church, I found myself spending way too much time in the office — surrounded by church people, called by church people, and calling on church people for visitation.
My time not in the office was spent in the car shuffling family members from event to event, or doing supply runs for church events.
I eventually left that routine — to get out of the Christian Bubble.
If you are a pastor – where do you connect with unchurched or unreached people on a regular basis?
If you are not a pastor — what can you do to help your pastor spend time with unchurched or unreached people?
Let me ask you this:
Did you do the exercise in the prior entry Do you have any non-Christian Friendships?
If you have found yourself in the cocoon, how did it form in your life?
What steps can you take this week to get out?
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Tags: church, Evangelism, friendship, friendships, pastor, pastors, relationship, Relationships, seminar, Training Options, worldview
Chris
I am ashamed to say that until recently, I have had very few relationships with unchurched people. I am an introvert and it is hard for me to build relationships with anyone. But I had to put myself in a position where I pursue those relationships for the kingdom.
For example, I have been building a relationship with a Jewish man who organizes trips to the holy land. I invited him to a Christian networking group luncheon yesterday. He is very open to spiritual matters. It is one of several relationships that I have been cultivating to share the gospel.
I wrote about the cocooning thing in one of my recent blog posts. It is a sad tendency that we have. See the post here http://www.friendfluence.com/2009/03/are-you-living-in-cocoon.html
Blessings…
Q: Did you do the exercise in the prior entry Do you have any non-Christian Friendships?
A: Yes, but they are mostly old friends (from times when I was in secular communities: high school, college, soccer)
Q: If you have found yourself in the cocoon, how did it form in your life?
A: It’s really a matter of time investment. I work for a Christian owned and operated software firm, volunteer at church, participate in a Christian fellowship of artists and spend time with my family. After eating and sleeping, there is no time left.
Q: What steps can you take this week to get out?
A: At this stage in my life, none. The real answer for me is to be involved with another community, which isn’t going to happen this week.
That sounds defeatist, but the current situation isn’t so dire. I actually meet quite a few non-Christians at church. That’s because I meet way more people at church than anywhere else. Also, the conversations I have with people at church can much more naturally shift into spiritual matters. Non-Christians visiting church are often looking for friends and a community to plug into, as well.
Part of the vision for our art group is to engage artists in the community. The group is in its infancy, so we aren’t really doing that yet. When we get there it will be easier for me to meet more non-Christians.
In general, I think that the Church at large needs to become more involved with community organizations. We often reinvent successful organizations with a christianized version. Worse, we establish an isolated ministry in each local church. The ministries starve for lack of human resources and funds and the the world wonders where on Earth is the Church? Why not send teams out to join existing organizations?
Andrew:
Thanks for dropping by and commenting. I was reading another blog last week by Bill Tenny Brittian who mentioned that a good sign of a healthy church is a regular number of unchurched visitors, which sound’s like your church may have.
http://www.billtennybrittian.com/getting-started-at-the-ground-level/five-marks-of-an-effective-congregation
Blessings,
Chris.
Darrell:
As a fellow evangelism trainer, what questions have you found useful to help people become aware of their current network of friends and see how “within or outside the cocoon” they are?
Chris.