Evangelism Coach

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Do you know your Neighbor?

Something I experienced when I lived in the suburbs of Richmond VA was the lack of a sense of community in our neighborhood. 

Sure we all bought nice houses, but with the exception of one family, we didn’t know any of the neighbors. 

What a contrast to our former subdivision where we knew everyone on the cul-de-sac, and had regular time with them all.  Over the course of 5 years there, we prayed with many of them, and several eventually came to faith in Christ and got connected with a church.

Jesus says that we are the light of the world, yet how many of us commute more than 10 miles to go to church, bypassing 40 homes in our same subdivision? 

How can we live out the notion of “every house a lighthouse” or “every house a church?” 

How can we break through the bubble of not knowing our neighbors?

If God has appointed the time and season of where you live, how can you be a tool in God’s use to impact your neighborhood with the Gospel?

TEN ideas for building neighborhood relationships.

1. Host a neighborhood block party on your street.
2. Host marriage enrichment seminars in your home for neighbors.
3. Start a playgroup with other stay at home parents.   Don’t forget the stay at home dads.   I was a stay at home dad so I know how important this is.
4. Distribute homemade gifts to your neighbors at Christmastime.  Include a tactful card that points to Christ.
5. Invite those without nearby family over for a holiday meal (for example: singles, internationals, divorced or widowed).
6. Conduct a Backyard Bible Club during the summer for neighborhood kids.
7. Host a baby shower for a neighbor who is expecting. Make sure you include their friends not just yours(!)
8. Offer to host a weekly discussion group or Bible Study. Invite Christian and non-Christian friends to participate.
9. Coordinate a Bring your Own Main Course night. You supply the grill, and everyone brings their own meat or veggie dish.   Have some families bring side dishes while others bring drinks or dessert.
10. Invite the neighbors over to watch a ball game or the mother of all sporting events-the Super Bowl. 

For that last one, no matter where in the world we personally live, we are American that Super Bowl Sunday and will invite the neighbors over.  Other times, we’ll join them for the World Cup soccer games, even  though I still don’t know the rules.  

Build genuine relationship that allows room for spiritual conversation.  Once a good relationship is built, look for opportunity to share your faith in Christ in a manner that is appropriate and real.

Let me ask you this:

What do you do to build relationship with your neighbors?  When was the last time you actually spent time with your neighbor?

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Our primary model in our seminars for doing personal evangelism is Phillip and the Ethiopian Eunuch.

The basic premise:

When God "underlined" the eunuch for Phillip, (with "Go stand next to THAT chariot"), Phillip obeyed and found a spiritually thirsty person.  Phillip then began a conversation that lead to the eunuch coming to faith.

Our model is to encourage the same.  Notice who God underlines, position yourself in the right place, and then engage in a conversation.

In God’s sovereignty, a misdialed number:

Recently, I taught a seminar in a church, where the group had this as their practical assignment.  The testimonies that were shared in small groups were amazing — people found it easy to share their faith when they put themselves "next to" someone that God underlined, and began a conversation.

For example, the phone rang at a participant’s house.  The caller said, "Congratulations, and Happy Birthday."

"Well, I am very happy, but today is not my birthday.  I supposed you’ve got the wrong number" — she replied.

"Oh I’m sorry to have misdialed"

But before he hung up, she felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to say  "Even though today is not my birthday, I’m happy all the time because I know that today is another day that God has given me."

"You are a Christian lady?"

"Yes"

"I quit going to church many years ago, but recently been thinking about the mess my life has become .. . .  ." — the stranger confesses.

At that point, the conversation continues in a natural flow, with the stranger ultimately praying with the evangelism seminar participant to rededicate his life to the Lord and return to church.

You can do this!

This participant simply felt prompted to make such a statement that opened the conversation. 

Wondering if perhaps in God’s sovereignty the caller had misdialed, she threw out an opening line to see where the conversation might go. 

Simply, she took a risk with a stranger who crossed paths with her.

This is how simple evangelism can be — noticing who crosses your path in God’s sovereignty and engaging in a conversation.

Let me ask you this: 

Can you see who will cross your path today that God might be bringing you to connect with?

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Below is an article I wrote for a men’s publication, coming out later in May. 

Mac and Susan (*) were new neighbors that moved into our cul-de-sac. A few days after the trucks left and friends stopped dropping by, my wife and I prepared some welcome cookies (fresh baked oatmeal raisin, still warm from the oven) then went over and introduced ourselves, to give a warm welcome to our community.

We made lots of small talk about the community, about life, and shared a little of our personal backgrounds. Eventually, Mac asked me: “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a pastor.”

Often, that kills the conversation.

But this time, Mac wanted to know more.

He asked me all sorts of questions, and began to reveal much about his spiritual journey. In college, he had been involved with a campus ministry, was busying talking to others about his faith in Christ.

Yet he was always troubled by the problem of evil.

If God is love, then why did Hitler even exist?

Since he couldn’t come to a satisfactory answer, he set his faith aside and decided it was better not to be certain of anything. He stopped going to church, changed his social networks over time, and became a pleasant agnostic. He was quite happy with his choice, and his life was fine without an active faith.

My current neighbor, an Australian wine maker, is simply “on his journey.”

Many of us likely know men who are in the same place: a place where faith is not important, and men whose life is fine without an active faith. Men, like my former neighbor, who might label themselves ex-Christian; men who might take on the label agnostic, or atheist.

Many of us know first hand that it is not easy to reach men with the gospel. Giving up is not an option, and just one man turning to Christ can revolutionize an entire church or community.

The power of a shared life
Effective evangelism to men begins with genuine male friendships, sharing common experiences, and doing life together. In that relational context, men develop the security to share what’s really on their minds.

It is this type of relationship that leads to success with men in evangelism. In all the reading I have done, all the ministry I’ve been a part of, many men’s leaders unanimously agree that building long-term relationships is the best way to lead a man to Christ.

Swinging a hammer together on Habitat for Humanity, crewing on a sailboat, disaster relief, feeding programs, and even golf tournaments some of the ways that I’ve been involved in doing shared life ministry. In the context of doing life together, many men find the liberty to talk deeply.

Talking about grace in a quiet space

Jorge (*) was an architect. He stopped going to church nearly 30 years prior simply because it didn’t make sense. One afternoon, I served as the crew on his racing sailboat, joining him for the best of three in the afternoon. It wasn’t a very windy day, so the skill was catching the mild breeze correctly to move forward. With lulls in the breeze, we had nothing to do except talk.

Jorge shared his life with me, shared with me his struggles of faith, and I shared some of the answers that I have found in Christ. We talked about the definition of grace, and how I discovered an amazing grace. The conversation was genuine, not preachy. The tone was polite and respectful. The breeze picked up and we raced on.

Months later, during another race, we experienced another lull in the wind, Jorge picked up the conversation from before. My comments had intrigued him and we continued to talk deep.

Reaching Men
If you want to reach men, consider how you can help the men of your congregation do life together. Help your men see the value of inviting others to something besides a church service.

• Service projects for housing or disaster relief efforts
• Golf tournaments, Fishing events, or other sports events
• Cookouts, BBQs, Block parties and other such social events
• Retreats around practical life, such as how to love your family, or not to marry a jerk.

As church leaders, our goal is to help provide the space for men to connect and do life together. We can encourage them to notice the moments when talking about faith is appropriate. We can model how to do that with our own lives.

Let me ask you this?

What does your church do for men’s outreach?

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Yesterday I had a conversation that simply continued into a 2 hour discussion on how to have a relationship with God.

Relational Context:

I’m translating some of my course material into Spanish, so I have a tutor who is helping me.  My tutor knows that I am a Pastor, evangelism trainer, and has helped me with translations for about 2 months.

The conversation I had was natural, not forced, nor “steered” to try and create one, but it happened naturally in the course of my ordinary life.

We were reviewing my translation of a slide about God’s unfathomable love (try translating that word).  It’s so deep that Paul prays that we might be able to grasp how wide, deep, long, is the love of God for us in Christ (Ephesians 2).

Poets, song writers, and artists have sought to explore the riches of God’s love.  I used a Spanish song quote that simply moves me to tears sometimes.

What would I be if you had not reached me?

Where would I be if you had not forgiven me? . . . .

If it wasn’t for your grace and for your love. . . . .

My tutor asks: “Why does that song move you so?”

That question opened up a 2 hour conversation about relating to God, having our sin forgiven, having his presence in our life, and all sorts of stuff.  I use the bridge illustration as my script (even if there are some shortcomings in it).

She’s not yet ready to receive Christ because of some fear, but she’s getting closer. 

Let me ask you this?

What was the last evangelistic conversation that you had?  Are you actively sharing your faith when natural opportunities occur?

Do you want one-to-one help with your personal evangelism?  Consider our Evangelism Training and Mentoring services.

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Who wouldn’t be "more comfortable inviting a Starbuck’s Barista to a manure shoveling party than to church?"

So write this blogger in God Answered My Prayer Within Hours.

All of us have fears of sharing our faith, which he describes pretty well. 

One key to breaking through that fear is prayer.  When we pray, we seem to notice more opportunities to share our faith, we notice better the people around us, and we see witnessing opportunities fall right into our lap.  Prayer softens us, and prepares us to see God’s activity.

Phillip and the Ethiopian Eunuch gives us a model of noticing who God is underlining for us.  The Spirit told Phillip: "Go, stand next to that chariot."  Praying prepares us to notice who God brings in our path.

Perhaps you’ve had a recent evangelism conversation.  Share it here with us in our Evangelism Encounter Discussion Group.

Let me ask you this?

Take a moment and pray for the people that you will encounter today.  Ask the Lord to make it clear when He points out where He is at work.

Chris

EvangelismCoach.org

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Dare to Share Youth Ministries has posted an article about How to Share Your Faith Using Thanksgiving.  It has a few good discussion questions that can be used.

Thanksgiving weekend in America typically involves large family gatherings, more food than one could eat, and for some families, hours of meaningless discussions about football, weather, and rehashing old family stories.

Consider praying ahead of time, asking God to make you sensitive to His leading about when and what to share.  Approach thanksgiving with the idea that you’ll have opportunity to share with family and Friends what you are truly thankful for: the outrageous grace offered to you in Christ Jesus.

When you pray, you’ll be ready to notice when God underlines a moment for you.

Here are some thoughts from the article:

So use the Thanksgiving clamor and commotion to point your conversations with friends or family toward God. Try turning their attention from the turkey and football to the real cause for celebration and feasting - the love, grace and forgiveness found in a restored relationship with God through his son Jesus. Here are some ideas to get the conversation headed toward God-talk:

• Do you have any family traditions at Thanksgiving time? Is Thanksgiving a time of fun or stress in your family?
• If you could ‘do Thanksgiving’ in a fresh, new, totally different way, what would that look like for you? Would it include a God-focus? Why or why not?
• What’s the one thing you are most thankful for this year?
• Ask your friends if they see Thanksgiving as more of a time for being thankful to God or being thankful to others? Share your perspective. Tell your friends about the difference God has made in your life through accepting Jesus’ gift of salvation and how that has made you thankful.
• Find out if there’s something in your friend’s life that makes it tough to feel thankful this Thanksgiving. Listen and share from your own life if you’ve had challenges this past year as well. Share how you try to come to God with a thankful heart, regardless of your earthly circumstances, because of his free gift of forgiveness through Jesus and your restored relationship with God.

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I was reading a thread on one of the Bible Forums I belong to, and came across a great post answering the question "How do you start witnessing to somebody?" 

That’s a great question.

I’ve been a Christian for nearly 20 years and witnessing simply seems natural to me.  It is the overflow of my heart — I have a vibrant relationship with Christ and that spills out of me.  But how does one start when you are a young Christian?

Here is a partial list from one of the responses:

1. Make known that you are a Christian. (2 Corinthians 3.2)
2. Be blameless as you are an ambassador for Christ (2 Peter 3.14)
3. Pray for opportunities (1 Thess 5.17 and 1 Peter 3.15)

To that list, I would add the following.

1. Notice when the Holy Spirit "underlines" the moment for a conversation.

Noticing when God prompts you for a conversation is a skill that is learned as you grow in your relationship with Christ.  There is no script for that.

Let me ask you this?

Have you developed the art of noticing whom God is underlining for you?

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