Evangelism Coach

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Today is a Friday Finds that works a little different.  Usually it’s some random things that I have encountered, but I’ve got a group for you today all focused on Welcoming Church Visitors

Pretend I’m not here

Monday Morning Insight discusses a Lifeway survey of church visitors about in an article “Just Pretend I’m not here.”  Notice that the data suggests that visitors may not want to identify themselves as such until later. . . .

Only 11 percent said they would be willing to identify themselves as a visitor when visiting a church for the first time and 63 percent said they would prefer to wait until at least the second visit to let anyone know they are visiting. Wanting a less formal introduction, 26 percent of formerly churched adults said they desire to slip in and casually introduce themselves after the service.

A reporters Journey

Reporter Chris Thompson has been visiting churches around Anchorage Alaska and writing blog posts about it.  See: Church Visits main page.

Searching: I’ve been looking for a church that projects relevance to my stage of Christian development. In this quest I have visited and worshiped with many streams of religious persuasion. Assuming this may be an issue for many in the Anchorage area, I offer in this blog brief accounts of my visits. The criteria I use in evaluating my visits are:
• Did the church project friendliness and warmth?
• Did I truly feel welcomed?
• Did I relate to the main teaching and was it delivered effectively?
• Did music merely entertain or did it deepen the worship experience?

Stop being friendly!

Even after all these reminders on being friendly, a Methodist blogger  Jeremy Smith  writes “Stop Being a Friendly Church.”

Seriously…stop it.

• A friendly church is not what God calls us to be.
• We are called to be a church where people can make friends.

Too friendly?

A Vineyard elder writes about his experience visiting churches while on a temporary long term job in a different town:  Read The importance of being a welcoming church.  Note that one was cold and clueless, the second one was toooooo friendly.

I didn’t know that it was possible to accuse a church of being too friendly, but I think this church accomplished this feat.  We were met by a greeter with a GUSHING welcome.  This person then made it her business to introduce us to at least three other people standing in the lobby area, and each of them in turn gave us an extended, overly-friendly greeting, all this while we had our three young kids in tow that we were trying to get checked in to Sunday School!  It seemed “fake.”

Last night we had a great webinar on Motivations for Evangelism.  The technology worked fine with no signal failures.  I want to welcome the newest subscribers to our newsletter list and RSS Feed.

The last two posts (part I and part II) shared common practices on welcoming visitors to church.  Here I simply want to give 20 blunders I’ve seen churches make in greeting visitors to church. 

Feel free to add your own in the mix (use the comments below).

1.  No One Said Hello.

2.  Bad breath.

3.  20 question doctrinal exam to make sure you are acceptable.

4.  Survey family history and marital status and background check.

5.  No follow-up contact.

6.  Stale snacks / donuts / cookies.

7.  Bad coffee.

8.  Too friendly - smothering and not respecting boundaries.

9.  Body odor.

10.  No eye contact.  Or eye contact and weak smile, but no hello.

11.  Apathy in making a greeting.  Whatever.

12.  Limp handshake and a weak hello.

13.  Too much enthusiasm.

14. “Is this your first time here?”

15.  Hugs to strangers.

16.  Swarming on visitors all at once, like flies on fresh meat.

17.  Unclean bathrooms.

18.  Unsafe Nursery.

19.  Thinking hospitality is evangelism.

20.  Rude staring at hairstyle, body piercings, or choice of clothes (See How Not to Welcome A Visitor about the Secret Dress Code).

Let me ask you this?

What would you add to this list? 

Think about times when you were a visitor once and what shaped a bad impression of a congregation. 

Add your thoughts in the comments below — simply keep church names out of your post.

If you would like more information about evaluating your hospitality, check out our articles on hospitality and feel free to give us a call at 804-335-1445.  Send an email via the contact us page and I will send you a hospitality audit form.

Want to learn about avoiding visitor nightmares?  Subscribe to our newsletter and a receive a link to download:

Miss part I? 

You can read 10 Practices to Welcome Church Visitors Part 1 by following that link.  Here are Common Practices 6-10.

6. “Secret Greeters”

Some churches will go beyond simply training greeters for points of entry at the church, such as the front door.  A good idea is to encourage others to be “secret greeters.”  These folks are part of the greeting team but are not in the obvious places like the front door or as an usher. 

I had a fellow in my congregation who never served on a greeting team.  However, he was always in the sanctuary, taking the initiative to greet people personally and visit with them for a little bit.  He functioned as a “secret greeter.”  This someone beyond the “professional greeter” at the door or the welcome center.

If for some reason a visitor gets to the sanctuary with a greeting from someone, this person is there to continue that greeting.

7. Pulpit recognition

Most churches that I have experienced will have the worship leader give some kind of welcome to the greeter.  Here, the advice from McIntosh is best (source: Beyond the First Visit: The Complete Guide to Connecting Guests to Your Church, Gary McIntosh, Review)

Whatever you do, take great pains not to embarrass the newcomer.  Among other things this means you should not identify new people by placing a ribbon, flower, or nametag on them.  Do not ask visitors to stand and speak before the entire congregation.  A survey of one thousand adults 18 years of age or older reported that “making a speech” was the number one event causing adults to be nervous.  It ranked first, ahead of, in order, getting married, interviewing for a job, going to the dentist, a first date, and getting a divorce. (p 110).

My wife and I recently visited a church where this wasn’t done at all.  She commented that it simply feels nice and warm when the worship leader acknowledges the presence of visitors and encourages the church to say hello.

8. Friendship Pads, Fellowship Books.

These are books that gather attendance information and provide a place for visitors to identify themselves by checking a box on the form.

The idea is that other people in the row would see check in the visitor box and take the initiative to greet.  Church multi-purpose this form for attendance tracking.

However, I have been in churches where I check the box, and still no one greets our family.  This practice seems to be falling out of favor because the pads become a doodle bin, the pencils are hard to keep sharp and it’s becoming an administrative nightmare.

There are other ways of getting visitor contact information, particularly the response card system mentioned in Fusion: Turning First-Time Guests into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church (which I think is the best Assimilation book available right now).  They use a Connection card that is distributed with the bulletin and every one (members, attenders, and visitors) fill it out as part of the service.  This information is used in their assimilation process, described in detail in their book.

9. Quality Snacks and Beverages.

The basic idea is a informal reception area where people can gather after the service.  For some, this is the lobby area (some call that a narthex).  For others, it could be in the fellowship hall or auditorium. 

As our evangelism training ministry takes us to churches throughout the Americas, many American congregations provide some kind of coffee hour after the service, to allow for a social setting where people can talk one on one. (Observation: In my travels in 10 different Spanish speaking countries and countless churches, only one church practiced this idea).

Beverages:

Make the coffee fresh and of appropriate strength. It shouldn’t be reheated from last night’s fellowship event nor should it be so weak as to taste like colored water. While it doesn’t take a lot of skill to make coffee, making it right is the challenge.  Coffee drinkers know a good cup of coffee, and a bad cup will leave a bad taste.  Don’t forget to make enough – sometimes the pot gets drained before visitors have had a chance to get to the urn.

Offer alternatives such as teas, juice, ice cold water. If you choose to use bottled water, offer a recycle container for empty bottles.

Food:

Whatever snack items are offered, make sure they are fresh.  Stale sweets, or frozen items (poke a little fun)  that had been thawed simply taste cheap and do not make a great first impression. Consider common food allergies and either avoid those (like nuts) or provide an appropriate sign.

In our health conscious time, provide healthy options for those that don’t want sugary cookies or sticky sweets.

Connecting:

Church members should be on the lookout for visitors again in this time. Some visitors are obvious – standing around, reading the news items on the bulletin board, and generally being overlooked. Members ought to take the initiative and start a conversation.

This can be a time to help make connections and perhaps introduce people to the pastor. Pastors should make themselves available during this time to meet and greet people, not rush off to the study and prepare for the following service.

In the international church I served, we stressed the importance of introducing our visitors to the pastors. We had been told that many people from non-American cultures consider it an honor to be introduced to the pastor.

10. Sunday School Greeters and Hosts

Some visitors will partake of the Sunday School offerings.  Many have a strong program here that attracts visitors who come for the first time. 

I experienced a warm welcome in a 14,000 member mega church because of my experience in Sunday School.  I arrived early enough to pick a class.  Once I found it (a kind person in the hall pointed out where I needed to go) I was welcomed by a person and invited to a beverage and ushered to a place to sit.  The small talk was not intrusive but just enough to help me feel at ease in a strange place with total strangers (I was by myself).  When the Class was over, this person showed me to the sanctuary and took me to a usable seat.  After asking if there was anything else I might need, they left.

I learned later that this church was very intentional in their Sunday School program to welcome class visitors.  Each class had a person in charge of the beverage, the teaching, and the greeting.  I felt welcome, overcome the sense of being lost on their campus.

Do.

Want to learn about avoiding visitor nightmares?  Subscribe to our newsletter and a receive a link to download:

Let me ask you this?

What did I miss?  I’m sure your church might do things a little different. 

What practices do you do in your church that you’d like to share? 

Feel free to share with us in the comments.

If you would like more information about evaluating your hospitality, check out our articles on hospitality and feel free to give us a call at 804-335-1445.  Send an email via the contact us page and I will send you a hospitality audit form.

  According to a Barna Research survey of people looking for a church, “Friendliness to Visitors” is

• Extremely important: 71%
• Somewhat important: 21%

Based on a national telephone survey of 1,015 people 18 or older; sampling error of plus/minus 3 percent. Citation: Moody (Jan/ Feb 2002);

Add that up and for 9 out of 10 visitors, the friendliness of your congregation is important.

What each church needs to do is develop a strategy to be friendly, but not overly friendly or smothering.

Ask yourself: How can I help my church welcome church visitors? What role can I play?

Here are 5 of 10 common practices to consider — (the next five come tomorrow).

1. Recruit a greeting ministry team

This team is would be responsible for recruiting greeters to serve regularly, and provide ongoing training to new greeters.

Some churches are large enough and have multiple points of entry into the building, and this requires a little more administrative planning to manage. For example: One Baptist Church has lots of different entry points.

One could make the point that all members are responsible for greeting, and while that is true, what often happens is that a greeting may never get done. It’s easy to slip into the mentality that we are a friendly church and therefore visitors will be welcomed. But there exist too many stories of “No One Said Hello”

See: Starting a Greeter Program for an example from the Assemblies of God.

2. Regularly Train New Greeters

Some churches provide regular training sessions for new greeters.

Extroverts may find this ministry easy to do, but introverts may need a little help or guidance in how to break the ice welcome visitors.

For example

• The Presbyterian Church in Canada gives guidelines to greeters/ushers.
• First Presbyterian Greenville created these guidelines for entrance greeters.

One could also read Serving as a Church Greeter, Leslie Parrott. (I’ve not read this book myself, but found it on Amazon).

3. Hospitality or Welcome Center

Some churches have a large enough lobby to have a table or booth that is staffed by greeters.

This is a central information area about the church and it’s ministries.

It can also be a place where visitors can leave their contact information for future conversations.

Many churches will give away a small gift for those who visit the table. Coffee mug, pens, free book, etc. Here is where one could place Church Welcome Folder.

One church, Glen Burnie Baptist features the church welcome center on a webpage for visitors, along with a map of the facility.

4. Church Welcome Folder or Packet

We have been in churches that distribute a church welcome folder or church visitor packet.  For more information see: Ideas for Church Visitor Welcome Packets

During our visits in different churches, these visitor packets have come to us in a variety of ways:

• We have found them ourselves.
• The members that have invited us will see we get one.
• Told to get one from the Welcome Center on the way out.
• Greeters that have recognized us as visitors give them to us.
• We have raised our hands when asked and ushers gave one to us.

Some churches will have a coupon to turn in at the welcome center for a free book or some such token of appreciation.

Usually inside the visitor packet, we will find

• a letter from the pastor,
• an audio recording of a pastor’s greeting or a recent popular sermon, and
• informational brochures on various ministries and programs of the church.

Note: We recently received a cassette tape and then discovered that we don’t have a cassette player any more – not in the car, not in our house.   We haven’t used a cassette is several years and forgot that we didn’t own a player.  All our stereo systems have gone to CD or MP3.   Consider a offering a choice: cassette, CD, DVD, or a link to a free MP3 download on the church’s website.

For more information see: Ideas for Church Visitor Welcome Packets

5. “Go and Greet someone” or “Pass the Peace”

When I am the leader of the service (emcee, moderator, director, liturgist, worship leader, pick the term for your tradition), here is what I do:

At an appropriate moment I say

Get up, turn and greet someone that you’ve not met yet. Shake their hand, introduce yourself, and take a few moments to welcome them to God’s house.

I don’t say the same thing every time, but they usually contain four commands.

1. Get Up.
2. Go Meet.
3. Give Your Name.
4. Greet.

I particularly mention “someone you have not met.”

I want to encourage people to make new connections that could lead to significant relationships, and I want the congregation to learn to look for people they don’t know.

Tomorrow, I’ll share part two of this list.

UPDATE:

This post has gathered a lot of traffic.  To those who have come for the first time to this website, I want to give you a personal welcome.  Here is part II. 

Free Download

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If you’d like to have local Evangelism Training workshops on hospitality, see our various options at our Live Evangelism Training page.

On a human level, visitors will come to your church because they have

• Been invited by a friend.
• Been referred by a friend in their grapevine.
• Seen your building in their commuting patterns
• Heard about your church through your marketing (direct mail, website, door hangers, business cards, radio, TV, phone book)
• Experienced your community outreach (e.g. food pantry, medical outreach, Dog Park, Hot Dog’s for Jesus, Free coffee on Mondays, Christmas Store)

These focus on the how that visitor found their way to your church.  These don’t suggest  “Why did that visitor come?”  That gets into motives, spiritual needs, situation and life.  There are many different reasons why a person would choose to come to your church for the first time, and in this series on Christian hospitality, we won’t explore that here.

Getting Visitors to Come

Getting visitors to your church is a different question.

That too, we can explore outside of this series on Christian hospitality.  That gets into the missional/attractional debates, marketing, outreach and lots of other trails for another day. 

It also touches on the connection between marketing and evangelism, and other blogs I read (www.MinistryMarketingCoach.com and www.ChurchMarketingSucks.com) deal with such issues.

Welcome Visitors to Church

Searcy writes in the introduction to his book Fusion (see my review of Fusion Visitor Assimilation), that

“Next Sunday the Spirit of God will prompt hundreds of thousands of people in the United States, and millions around the world to visit a church for the first time.” 

In fact, he suggests that each visitor are “God’s gift to you. . . . ”

While the book covers his entire system of Visitor Assimilation, chapter 3 gives a good writeup on Four Factors that he considers important

1. Greeted: Welcome with a smile
2. Directed: simply and politely shown where they need to go.
3. Treated: Shown respect and perhaps surprised with food/drink.
4. Seated: Led to comfortable, appropriate seats.

Greeting Visitors

I can’t begin to tell you how important a greeting can be. 

You can read the difference between two experiences of two different congregations that shared the same building:

• First Time Church Visitor Experience (No Greeting)
• 1st Time Church Visitor Story (Greeted)
• No One Said Hello

I’ve complied a set of links on Evangelismcoach.org that point to Greeting visitors.

• Welcoming Visitors to Your Church - Miracles disguised as needs.
• 6 hints for welcoming visitors to your church.
• 10 Tips for Greeters (One of the Most Popular Articles Here)
• How Not to Welcome A Visitor (Secret Dress Code)
• Welcome a Spanish speaking Visitor

Different ways to greet visitors:

www.ChurchMarketingSucks.com conducted a poll among its readers.  See the Special Guests Poll Results (on Welcoming Visitors) and various ways their readers greet visitors during the service.

First Presbyterian in Branson MO greets visitors publicly during the service.  Read More tips for welcoming a visitor which is their story.  It works for them because of the pastor’s skill in greeting people before the service and he makes the greeting time fun. 

One reader submitted a question via Ask EvangelismCoach about greeting visitors in the public service with flowers.  (Read Should we single out First Time Visitors?).  The discussion in the comments grows, and I’ve not yet answered the question myself.  That’ll come in a future post.

Here is a simple but not exhaustive list of ideas:

• A simple handshake and a small greeting.
• Friendly ushers trained to notice and talk with visitors.
• Everyone stand and greet/meet while upbeat music is playing.
• “Secret” Greeters who are trained to notice and talk with visitors

Let me ask you this?

What is the way your church greets and give welcome to church visitors?

(Get our Newsletter and a link to download for free:Avoiding First Time Visitor Nightmares)

You were a first time church visitor. 

I can say that because most of my regular readers (through my RSS feed) and Newsletter subscribers are actively involved in their local church.

At some point in time, you visited for the first time.

Do you remember your experience? 

Do you remember the emotions you felt being in a new space for the first time surrounded by dozens, if not hundreds, of people you didn’t know?

Before getting into the practical steps on giving welcome to Church visitors I want to share a few more devotional thoughts about church visitors and Christian Hospitality.

You were the church visitor

Leviticus 19:33-34 commands Israel to welcome strangers because of their experience in Egypt.

‘When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.’

They were not to oppress the alien because they knew how it felt when they were in Egypt (Exodus 23:9)

While this verse can say much towards the current national debate on immigration in the US and perhaps the immigration debates in other countries, we can stretch it to speak about visitors who come to your church. 

(It’s not proper exegesis, but a great point can still be made).

You might be a long term member of your church. 

At one point you were not. 

You were a visitor for the first time.  You had a need and somehow, you found your way to that church. 

You were the “alien.”

Now the coin has been turned. 

You have integrated yourself into the community of faith, and other people are coming to your church for the first time.  Now those visitors are the “alien.” 

• How can you  treat visitors as one of your own?
• How can you “Love them as yourself, for you were aliens . . . ?”

Jesus welcomed people

Notice what Jesus did with visitors in Luke 9:11 (Feeding the Five Thousand)

The crowds . . . . followed him. He welcomed them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and healed those who needed healing.

In fact Jesus welcomed so many people into his presence, that he was accused of welcoming sinners (Luke 15:1-2)

Now the tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

Acts 28:30 points to Paul’s practice of welcoming people

For two whole years Paul stayed there in his own rented house and welcomed all who came to see him.

McIntosh makes the point that several different Greek words used for “welcome.”

together, they suggest the meaning of gladly welcoming someone to one’s home as a guest . . . [Welcoming newcomers] is a theological demonstration of God’s grace. . . .when we welcome newcomers to church, we are demonstrating the gracious love and care of God (p. 12) 

Source: (Assimilating Church Visitors: Beyond the First Visit)

Let me ask you this?

• How does your church welcome visitors?
• How do you personally welcome visitors?
• Do you see your welcome as reflecting God’s grace?

I’m continuing this week a series on Christian Hospitality.  I have  a series linker, but we’ll see how it works as new pieces come in over the next few days as I write, and meditate on it. 

Here is some links and scriptures for your study.

Positive Examples of Biblical Hospitality

• Genesis 12:14-20
• Genesis 20:4-15
• 1 Kings 17:10-24
• Luke 19:1-10
• Acts 16:14-15
• Acts 28:2

Negative Examples of Biblical Hospitality

• Numbers 20:18-21
• Numbers 21:21-31
• Judges 19:15
• 1 Samuel 25:10-38
• Luke 9:51-56
• Luke 10:30-37

Biblical Hospitality Verses:

Matthew 25:34-43	Sheep and Goats
Luke 10:30-37	Good Samaritan
Acts 4:32-38	“had everything in common”
Romans 12:13	“practice hospitality”
Romans 16:1-23	Greetings and “who’s hospitality I enjoy”
1 Timothy 5:10	characteristic of a widow
Hebrews 13:2	“angels unaware”
1 Peter 4:7-11	“Offer Hospitality without grumbling”
3 John 1:5-8	“We ought to show hospitality”

 

Let me ask you this?

Do you have a favorite hospitality scripture or verse to add to this list?

(Picture from: MyfanwyX)