When the shorts and skirts were too short

Most churches have an unofficial dress code that visitors do not know.

When a visitor appears to break the dress code, how does your church react?

Does your reaction help the church’s mission of evangelism, or does it create an environment that is hostile to evangelism?

The ‘secret’ dress code

One of our first-time visitors had only been in the United States for three days.

She had never been in a church anywhere on the globe.

Her shorts redefined ‘mini-shorts.’  The curves of her butt cheeks were visible. Her shorts were so tight that her thong was visible.  Her choice of a plunge cut and tight fitting blouse was what we see outside of the nightclubs across the street from our residence at 6 in the morning when they are emptying out.

Instead of being welcomed, our guest was practically shunned.

People didn’t approach her or talk with her (I did, which is how I found out about her story). They stared, stealing secret glances, and trying not to get caught.

Let’s say it was a socially awkward morning.

Years later, that visitor is still remembered by the men – only because they remember how much skin they saw. The wives remember her as well, because they kept elbowing their husband.

Neither saw an immigrant searching for God.

When we were the awkward church visitor . . . .

Our family attended a church whose denominatinal tradition required women to wear ankle length skirts and head veils. Men had to be in full suits.

We didn’t know anything about this secret dress code until we appeared at a morning service.  We were different and felt awkwardly out of place, in fact, downright self-conscious.

Yet the people in the church approached us, greeted us, welcomed us, and made some good small talk with us.

We didn’t feel the stares of church members (nor notice any).

We had been warmly and enthusiastically welcomed and invited to return, which overcame our personal sense of embarrassment at not knowing the dress code.

Let me ask you this?

• How does your church react to visitors who dress or look differently than you?
• Can you still engage visitors in conversation when you can’t stop looking at their nose piercing?
• Do you secretly stare at their interesting haircut or choice of hair color?
• How do you react to twenty twenty-something in ripped blue jeans?
• Do you secretly wonder if the foreign visitor is legal?

Tweetable Quotes:

• When the shorts were too short for church. . . [Click here to tweet]
• Stare at your church visitors so they never come back . . [Click here to tweet]

Reignite Your First Impressions Ministry

We all want our church visitors to come back. But to get that to happen you need to improve your first impression ministries.

But where do you start?

Get these 7 Secrets to Effective Church Hospitality to give you starting points and ideas that you can implement this weekend.

Download it now

Image Credit: TaroTaylor, Creative Commons, Flickr