It was Easter Sunday.
We attended a traditional church in a mainline tradition.
It was the traditional service, one of 3 main services on a Sunday morning. Full robes were worn by the hand bell team and the full choir. The pastor wore a suit and tie. We sang the awesome hymns of Easter accompanied by the choir and full organ.
We were an invited guest.
Our family has experienced a temporary life transition that had us move to another state in the US for a period of four months, away from our church, away from our social networks, and away from our friends.
Four months not enough time
Our move is only temporary, so we made a decision to pick a church where some friends attend and just stay there.
This puts us in a real life experience of
Church members are friendly. Sermons are relevant and connect Scripture to life.
They have ushers and greeters and several good hospitality practices.
For example, on our second visit, one church member personally invited my young daughter to children’s church.
When she agreed to go (and be with a bunch of strangers), he personally led me and my daughter through the maze of their building to the children’s church class.
He was not “on duty” that Sunday as an usher or greeter, but, chose to extend this grace of welcome. I was invited to stay around and provide a comforting presence to my daughter until she seemed to be ok with the new group.
My daughter is social and outgoing, but I can imagine that she was somewhat intimidated at walking into
The teacher did a great job in helping my daughter start to join in with the activities of the class, and I was able to return to the service.
This is a relatively large church. I’m not sure how many people are actually involved, but there are
It’s a busy Sunday morning when we navigate the building to find our kids, get some coffee, and so on.
There really isn’t much time to make friends in the small window between services and Sunday school starting.
So that leaves us with the question, how do we develop friends in a new church?
Here is some of our experience as we tried to find something to get involved in during our temporary time.
I don’t want any of this perceived as complaint, but as observations of what happened as we tried to connect and assimilate ourselves into this congregation.
We filled out the connection form for two weeks, but it did not seem to trigger any kind of response that I expected:
I had assumed of a church this size that we’d receive some informational pieces about the church that could tell us more about the places we could connect.
As we looked over the bulletin each week, the programs that got more detailed descriptions didn’t appeal to us or our life situation: Grief care groups, divorce care groups, recovery groups.
Most of the other bulletin announcements seemed to be logistical details of schedule changes, room changes,volunteer signups, and other stuff that members needed to know.
There was a logo for a program called “Connections” but no description of what that was.
We determined at least to let our kids go to Sunday school that happens after the service we attend. For our kids – it was an easy option. One Sunday school class for middle schoolers and one Sunday school class for the grade in elementary school.
But for us, we didn’t see a descriptive list of Sunday school classes, or know how to get one. We only saw a class title and room number. There were several classes for adults to choose from with nothing more than a title and room number.
The end result for us was
So we made a default choice of simply hanging out at the coffee hour while our kids went to Sunday school.
An observant church member noted our lingering during the coffee time (after many people went to the next service or Sunday School).
They personally invited us to their choice of Sunday school class and took the time to tell us about the other classes that were happening, and we happily went along with them.
After a good Sunday school experience, our kids wanted to go to Wednesday night youth group. When I showed up to deliver the kids to youth group,some friendly church members
I found a Wednesday night class that I could attend.
The Sunday school class and the Wednesday night class have become places where we are starting to make friends.
I recognize this church has a challenge with it’s size about finding ways to communicate “all you need to know” in a weekly bulletin and a church this size has lots of great programming that competes for bulletin space each week.
I eventually found a descriptive list of Sunday School classes and Wednesday night programming, but that happened after I had been going to their programming.
I eventually learned learned that “Connections” was their Wednesday night supper program before their evening classes and that it would be a great place to meet new people and make friends.
This raises the question:
In a future article, I’ll address what might have been helpful and the larger application that churches need to consider in their assimilation process.
Recently, I was asked the following question via Ask The EvangelismCoach.
I’ve posted this to the community Facebook Page, but wanted to give you all a chance to help pitch in. I hope to do this on a more regular basis.
“How do we greet late comers?
Do we need to mention that worship service has started?”
The basic principle that guides all your hospitality ministry is respect for the person coming late.
I have been in some churches where ushers close the sanctuary doors when the service starts, and then reopen them at certain points for latecomers.
Typically, they politely mention that the service has started. It’s an explanation for the shut doors and the pause before entering. They mention that in a few minutes, they will let people in at an upcoming point in the service. It is part of their custom and practice.
I have been in some churches where people come in and go out at all points of the service. Ushers seat them at any time. The causal nature of these churches don’t really require an explanation about how the service has already started.
Above all, the key point is respect for the latecomer and finding ways to communicate respect and honor.
We certainly don’t want to communicate: “Your are LATE!”
Add your comments below to help answer Ed’s question.
What would you say to Ed?
Over at http://www.ChurchHospitalityTraining.com, I’ve released video Number 
3.
In today’s video, I address one of the biggest barriers that churches put up to visitors who do come back for several weeks in a row.
I once attended a local fellowship for nearly 6 months and still had no friends. It was a fellowship with about 100 people at the service we attended.
In fact, not one person made an effort to talk with us. This church had all the right hospitality systems:
They were doing all the right things, but there was not a single person who said hello to us. Even the pastor remained a stranger to us during this time.
That’s unacceptable.
Today I’m releasing video #3 at
http://www.ChurchHospitalityTraining.com
It’s called “Can’t Get in!”
I give some lessons I’ve learned as a result of this, and two ways that I’ve seen churches try to address it.
The fourth video will be out in a few days.
You should be able to straight to the video by clicking the link. If you can’t get it, simply provide your email address, click on the confirmation link and you’ll get the most current video.
These videos will be up only for a short time, so be sure to get them. They run about 10 minutes each.
Earlier this year, a church hospitality committee leader called me up to have chat about how to restart their hospitality ministries.
Perhaps you have the same challenge they had:
People come for the first time, but they don’t come back.
What can we do to fix that?
This church began looking for solutions
They were a large church that had several systems in place, but still visitors were not coming back.
Perhaps you’ve read hospitality books, but they seem
They talk about systems and processes that just seem out of reach for your church.
If you are asking the same question, I’ve put together a free video series for you
http://www.ChurchHospitalityTraining.com
It’s called 9 reasons your visitors don’t come back and what you can do change some of those.
There is a free download available at the end of the video to give you a practical starting point.
I want to send these videos to you over the next 10 days, but only if you are interested,
which is why I’m asking for your email address again before sending you the first one.
The second video will be released by email on Monday, and it’ll focus on three quick fixes to your greeter ministry
You can get the videos only by signing up for them at
http://www.ChurchHospitalityTraining.com
The Institute For American Church Growth asked over 10,000 people this question: “What was responsible for your coming to Christ and this church?”
Their replies were:
Source: lost, but it’s been in files for a while.
So, who are you inviting to church this weekend?
Are you prepared for to receive new church visitors at Christmas time?
I want to give you 5 areas to consider improving your church welcome for your first time visitors when the come this Christmas Season.
Greeters can provide a warm handshake, helpful information and walk a guest to classes or the sanctuary if needed.
Greeting is more than just a hello. It is a first impression.
I’ve got some free church greeter training videos here.
Or, purchase this DVD Set to train greeters as a refresher.
Why is this important? Read these tweets and you get the idea.
Greeter at church- “How’s college? Have they kicked you out yet?” Not sure what this says about me. –Twitter User
The greeter at church always flirts with me………uncomfortable!! — Twitter User
Way to go folks. Brought a visitor to church. Overheard “well that ain’t no way to dress for church.” — Twitter User
Being friendly to your church visitor means that the church family is listening, inviting, encouraging, and caring.
Help your church get that vision for hospitality by casting it when you can in sermons, meetings, and Sunday school classes. (Audio download from the store).
Church Visitors should be greeted by someone around them, not just the greeter at the door.
Particularly the lonely ones who may be away from family this time of year.
Prepare Welcome Packets for your guest.
Read How to Prepare a welcome packet, perpetually one of the 10 ten articles on this website each year.
Include current information on upcoming programs and an invitation to meet with the pastor.
Have a coffee/snack reception after the service.
This allows time for
Beverages:
Make the coffee fresh and of appropriate strength. It shouldn’t be reheated from last night’s fellowship event nor should it be so weak as to taste like colored water.
While it doesn’t take a lot of skill to make coffee, making it right is the challenge. Coffee drinkers know a good cup of coffee, and a bad cup will leave a bad taste.
Don’t forget to make enough – sometimes the pot gets drained before visitors have had a chance to get to the urn.
Offer alternatives such as teas, juice, ice cold water. If you choose to use bottled water, offer a recycle container for empty bottles.
Food:
Whatever snack items are offered, make sure they are fresh.
Stale sweets, or frozen items that had been thawed simply taste cheap and do not make a great first impression.
Consider common food allergies and either avoid those (like nuts) or provide an appropriate sign.
In our health conscious time, provide healthy options for those that don’t want sugary cookies or sticky sweets.
Assuming you got church visitor contact information during the worship service, you’ll want to send them a nice follow up letter.
Be sure to include an invitation to return to the next worship service, as well as some upcoming event or service.
Don’t bother with “we are here to serve you, if you need anything.”
Instead, invite them to join you on a mission or upcoming event.
For example, “We believe in serving our neighborhood and being the best church for the community. This month on [date] we’re going to serve the homeless and invite you to join us on that mission.”
What are some areas that you would add?
Please share them in the comments below.
Most churches experience an influx of church visitors at Christmas time.
Churches have special activities that are geared at increasing the number of personal invitations that members give.
While your attendance may swell at Christmas time, the critical question is
Here are four factors to keep in mind.
Make sure all your Christmas season events and worship services are done with excellence and quality.
Don’t let sloppiness or a lacksidasical attitude hinder your visitors experience of the Christmas season.
Think about your worship experiences and ask “Is this helping our visitors and members experience God and hear God’s truth?”
If a visitor doesn’t have a sense of encountering God during their visit, it’s highly unlikely they will return. Instead, they’ll simply wonder “What’s the point of that?”
Remove the unnecessary barriers to a return visit.
And most of all, make sure your members people say hello to the visitors.
There is lots of other information on this website about church hospitality in this tutorial.
Create the best experience possible at Christmas.
You can’t make a long term influence for Christ on a church visitor if they don’t come back to your church.
The four weeks of advent is also a great time to start promoting your post Christmas sermon series.
Pick a topic that is relevant to life.
Do a six week sermon series connected with the launch of new small groups.
These are great avenues to invite people back to church after the Christmas season is over.
Small groups allow for relationships to form, which increases the possibility your visitor will become a regular attender.
Consider this webinar on Church Visitor Assimilation.
There are many ways to get contact information.
I recommend the use of contact cards. (Read and listen: How to Get Church Visitor Contact Information). In our congregation, we are small enough to recognize first time church visitors. We hand them first time visitor cards.
Drop a note or Christmas card in the mail.
Invite them to other Christmas specials. Remind your visitors they can bring a friend.
Also, use the card to remind your church visitors of the upcoming January series.
Even drop a little gift in the mail like a $5 gift card or gas card.
Some churches still make a personal visit within 24-48 hours.
Find ways to show honor to your visitor and invite them to return for January’s sermon series.
You can’t follow up if you don’t get any contact information.
What specifically are you doing to be intentional about inviting your church visitors to return after Christmas?
Please share in the comments below.
Consider this webinar on Church Visitor Assimilation to give you further ideas on how to help your visitor become a regular attender.
Image credit: wiml / 123RF Stock Photo
I am a church strengthening consultant for the Montana Baptist Convention.
Our analysis of several churches showed that the “friendship” factor was low and was costing them the retention and assimilation of first time guests who were passing through their churches without a second visit.
I used your book to teach these churches how to organize and train a greeter team.
The information was well received. We will be doing a further analysis of these five churches by sending a “test” guest to each church to see if they have processed the material adequately.
Thanks for contributing excellent material for us to use in our training of these five Baptist churches.
~Mark Langley
MTSBC Church Strengthening Group
Purchase your ebook copy here: How to Welcome Church Visitors
I recently spoke with a pastor of a medium size church of 300.
He has often heard from people after 6-10 weeks this statement that broke his heart: “I have been here x number of weeks and no one has said hello.”
(After a recent workshop on hospitality, one couple said “We’ve been in this church for 6 months and no one has noticed us.”)
Recently, this pastor took a sabbatical and visited other churches outside of his tradition.
He was the first time church visitor.
The experience of visiting congregations opened his eyes to the power of hospitality ministries in helping a church visitor feel welcome. He summed up the best experience as “Informal but intentional.”
When he returned from sabbatical, he wants to cast the vision for hospitality ministry so that congregations members can see the power of such a ministry.
His experience opened his eyes.
Is your church friendly?
Most church members, of any church, would answer that question, “Yes, we’re friendly!”
But is that the answer that your church visitors would give?
Perceptions matter, and friendliness is in the eye of beholder. Church Visitors come and go to the church and few of your church visitors stick around.
Perhaps the most painful words a pastor hears in this area is when a church visitor says to him or her after several weeks:
“I’ve been here for 6 weeks and still no one has said a word of hello to us.”
How can we miss this?
We have forgotten to think like a church visitor.
Leviticus 19:33-34 says,
“When an alien lives with you in your hand, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native born.
Love him as yourself for you were aliens in Egypt. I’m the Lord your God.”
The Israelite was not to oppress the alien in their midst because they knew how it felt to be an alien in the midst of another social group. They could think and feel like the alien in their midst. They could empathize.
Think about your volunteers.
Think about yourself.
The fact is you were once a first-time church visitor. You were once a first-time visitor to this congregation or the congregation where you are at.
You were the alien once. They can identify what it was like to be the church visitor for the very first time.
Some people may have been going to church before they were ever born. They started growing in their mother’s womb and started going to church. They were born into a church, and maybe they’ve never had an experience of being a first-time church visitor in that congregation.
But most of us we were a church visitor once.
Do a Bible study of these verses with your church welcome or hospitality ministry team to help people think through their experience and their emotions as a first-time church visitor.
Help them develop empathy.
If you can’t remember what it was like to visit your congregation for the very first time, encourage your team to
For example, if you’ve grown up in the Presbyterian Church and you’ve been in the Presbyterian Church for a long time, go to an Assembly of God on a Sunday.
Or visit the Pentecostal Tabernacle down the street.
Or visit a Baptist congregation if you’ve grown up in a Presbyterian system.
The idea is to mix it up and get outside of your comfort zone.
As you experience being the alien in their midst, pay attention to your feelings, pay attention to your anxieties, pay attention to these things.
Noticing these things will help you develop an empathy for the visitor.
As you develop that empathy, your response to the church visitor who comes to your church will be more spontaneous and generous.
Make the same visit and your team will be much richer for it.
Do you want more first time church visitors to come back a second time? Taking care of your hospitality systems can help you keep more of your visitors. I’ve put an ebook together to help you review your hospitality systems
Read more on How To Welcome Church Visitors
Image credit: xiaohuan / 123RF Stock Photo
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