Would my Own Church Welcome my Own Friend?

Would my own church welcome my friend? Did they get the hospitality vision?

 Had we been diligent in casting a vision for welcome and hospitality with our church?  Suddenly, this was personal.  

Here was MY friend and MY invited guest.

A contact I’ve been praying for six months finally accepted my invitation to come to church.  Would my own church welcome my friend?

My friend was nervous.

My friend came to church after months of prayer, months of conversations, and multiple invitations to church.  

With the launch of a brand new sermon series, it was a good time for him to make a visit.

I’ve been watching the growth of his spiritual curiosity as we spend time together.

His only religious experience was in his childhood. As an adult, churchgoing was not part of his life.

His only current church experience is what he sees portrayed on television when he happens to watch it.  He might catch 5 minutes of the worship signing and dancing, and then return an hour later while flipping channels to see that the people are still dancing.

Would our church be like what he’s seen on TV?

My friend knew nobody but my family.

One day, he accepted my invitation. He chose to come.  It would mean walking into a strange place, different people, and be a new face in the crowd.

• Would he feel welcomed?
• Would our church family talk with him?
• Would he feel safe, respected, and impressed enough to return?

Does my Church Have a Vision to Welcome?

Here was a real test.

Since I teach on church hospitality, I felt like I was being put to the test in my own life.

Would our church rise to the occasion and welcome my friend? Had they captured the hospitality vision of welcoming the stranger?  Would they welcome the church visitor?

Or would I discover that my friend would be ignored and never want to come back?

Watch the video to find out.

4 Questions for you

1. Does your church really have the vision of hospitality?
2. How do you help nervous visitors feel safe?
3. Who can you invite to church this week?  
4. Do you believe your guest would be welcomed?

Story Summary for non-video watchers

For about six months, I had been praying for a friend who has no real church background. We had talked often about my faith in Christ, and his spiritual curiosity had slowly been growing. Like most of us who care about our friends, I knew that inviting him to church could help him see faith lived out in community. He could hear the stories of Jesus, see how Scripture shapes everyday life, and meet people who follow Christ with sincerity.

He had never accepted my previous invitations. Life circumstances never lined up. Then our church launched a new teaching series that fit perfectly with the questions he and I had been discussing. His interest was high, and for the first time, he said yes.

That yes made me nervous in a way I didn’t expect. It’s one thing to talk about your church. It’s another when someone you care about is actually walking through the doors. I wanted everything to go well. I wanted the welcome to be warm. I wanted the sermon to connect. I hoped the worship team would be solid and the atmosphere restful instead of chaotic.

Part of my uneasiness came from knowing our church was young and still developing its systems. We’re growing. We’re learning. We don’t have all of our hospitality structures in place yet. So I wondered how my friend’s first experience would actually unfold.

My friend was nervous too. His only recent exposure to church had been what he saw on television. The loud, long, highly expressive services that dominate certain broadcasts had shaped his expectations. Even though I reassured him that our church is calm, conversational, and about ninety minutes long, he still walked in with apprehension.

But on Sunday, everything changed.

He arrived, participated in the service, and experienced something very different from what he had imagined. What made the biggest impact wasn’t the worship set or the length of the service. It was the people. Several members of our church walked right up to him, talked with him, asked questions, and made him feel seen. They were so attentive that I didn’t even need to hover. He was one of the last people to leave because he was wrapped up in genuine conversations.

The next day, we went for a walk and talked about his first visit. He shared three things that stood out.

First, the message spoke directly to him.
Second, he was surprised by how friendly everyone was.
Third, he felt safe enough to return. In fact, he plans to attend the rest of the series.

I cannot express how grateful that made me. My church loved my friend well.

Let me highlight what your church can learn from this experience.

1. People notice when your members make time for guests. My friend felt seen because regular attenders stepped toward him, not away from him. That mattered more than anything happening on the platform.
2. Many visitors arrive nervous. They may not know what to expect. Some come carrying fears, stereotypes, or past hurts. Anything you do to ease that anxiety will help them receive what God wants to show them.
3. Invitations still matter. Inviting someone to church is never the whole story of evangelism, but it can be one of the ways God creates moments of encounter. Sometimes the simple act of extending an invitation becomes a key part of someone’s spiritual journey.

I’m grateful for how God used my church this weekend. Moments like this remind me why hospitality is worth the effort and why every guest deserves to be welcomed with intentional care.

2025 Update

Though we no longer live in the same neighborhood, we still talk – my friend eventually surrendered his life to Christ and continues to grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ where he lives now. We spoke again in October of 2025 where I learned how he’s been growing.