Church hospitality starts with empathy. My family and I attended a church service in a Christian faith tradition completely different than what we are used to.
From that visit, we learned 3 important lessons for hospitality committees at churches.
As we tried to participate in their church service at their personal invitation, we felt out of place. The church visitor experience was not clear to us.
The order of service, communal prayers, and liturgical responses were completely different from anything I had experienced before.
The Setting
The one-room church structure was simple. The rain falling on the metal roof was muffled by the exposed insulation. It sounded like the quiet hiss of a sound system with a loose cable.
Inside, wooden pews lined the sanctuary, complete with kneelers that my son mistook for footrests. The people around us were friendly and smiling, but aside from our hosts, we didn’t have much interaction with others..
The Service
About 40 people sat around us, smiling and talking with one another.
Other than the people who invited us, we did not have much interaction with other members.
The liturgy was beautiful. It announced the good news of Christ throughout. The sermon included the gospel proclamation of Jesus Christ.
The order of service included sung parts, recited prayers, chants, and call-and-response moments with the congregation.
People around me knew when to sit, stand, kneel, and speak a well-known prayer that many had memorized.
Where the church visitor gets lost
This is where I felt the most out of place.
I did not know their memorized prayers (except the Lord’s Prayer).
I did not know their liturgical responses or the timing for when I was supposed to respond.
There was no:
- prayer book available that I could follow,
- church bulletin or program to guide me,
- words on a screen to help me participate.
When communion (the Lord’s Supper) came, I listened for an invitation about whether guests could participate.
I know some Christian traditions invite members only, or believers only, or set limits on who may take communion. Since I was not sure, I listened for the invitation that never came, so we chose to sit out.
The silence was awkward. We felt out of place.
My son asked what was happening when prayers were offered in unison. All we could say was that the church members were reciting prayers they had known for a long time.
When I asked my daughter what she experienced, she shyly said, “I just stayed quiet.”
That summed up the experience — we were guests who couldn’t find our place in worship.
After the service
When the service ended, I expected to see the pastor mingling with people. I hoped for a brief chance to say hello, but he was nowhere to be found after the service.
Instead, ushers escorted people one by one to a separate building, sharing their large umbrellas — a kind gesture on a rainy morning.
Once inside, the atmosphere shifted. Around tables with coffee and snacks, we finally began to meet people and enjoy real conversation.
When it was time to walk to the fellowship hall in a different building, church ushers escorted people under big umbrellas because of the rain. The umbrellas were a huge blessing.
We enjoyed the reception and the chance to interact with people.
In fact, we stayed quite a while as we began to meet people and visit with them.
Three Lessons for Your Church Hospitality Committee
1. Visit other churches. It builds empathy.
Have your hospitality committee members visit a Christian faith tradition other than your own.
Go by yourself, uninvited. Not as a large group. Go alone, or with your family, like I did.
Note the moments when you feel lost, uncertain, or awkward.
Ask, “What would help a first-time church visitor participate in our service?”
In my visit, a simple church bulletin with written prayers would have reduced most of the awkwardness.
Learn to think like a visitor by developing empathy for their experience.
2. Regularly review your church welcome experience.
As a hospitality committee, walk through the service with the eyes of a first-time guest.
Start with your website and parking lot. Follow each step until a person leaves your property.
You might spot gaps or unintentional barriers that discourage guests from returning.
Do a quarterly review. You can also do short weekly check-ins with a mindset of continual improvement.
In this experience, a review might have helped them see that:
- They have guests.
- Guests need clear guidance.
3. Create space for conversation after worship.
Plan a simple reception after the service and tell guests where to find it.
Encourage members to greet people they do not know. Coach them to start conversations and listen well.
Ask your teaching pastor to be visible and available. Guests may want to meet the pastor.
People do not look for a friendly church. They look for a church where they can make friends. A short reception time provides space for conversation to start.
Not every guest will stay, but many will.
Provide tables and chairs so people can sit and talk if they choose.
In our visit, the reception helped us connect. We sat at tables and talked with people. That time overcame the awkwardness from the morning service.
Why Printed Bulletins May Still Matter?
Many churches have done away with printed bulletins. Annoucements are on screen. Lyrics get projected. In larger churches, even the sermon is delivered via signal transmission from another campus.
But if you are a church whose style is more liturgical, a printed bulletin or order of service still has its place. Some might object:
Why bother printing a version of the liturgy? Everyone knows the liturgy.
That mindset misses an opportunity for outreach.
That attitude overlooks the church visitor who is making an effort to attend for the first time.
It also reveals an inward focus instead of an evangelistic vision.
A worship guide — even a simple one — helps visitors participate instead of feeling like observers. It reflects an evangelistic mindset, one that welcomes newcomers instead of assuming they’ll catch on.
Producing a bulletin or projecting words on a screen takes effort, but it shows hospitality in action. It says, “We expected guests today, and we want you to be part of this.”
If You Can’t Host a Reception, Create Spaces for Connection
Large churches may not be able to host a reception between multiple services. You can still make space for connection:
- Your next steps center becomes the place where connections start.
- A café with seating creates space to linger and talk.
- Seating areas in the lobby (narthex) create natural conversation zones.
Hospitality happens when people are intentional about connection, not just programming.
Want to Strengthen Your Church’s Hospitality Ministry?
I’ve put together a free tutorial. You can also sign up for further email coaching on your hospitality ministry.
Read more about that hospitality fixing here.
Hospitality Resource
If you are a new leader in your church’s hospitality or welcome ministry, this recorded webinar class will help you get started in preparing for the upcoming season of welcome.
Here is what you can expect to learn in this 90-minute webinar (recorded narrated presentation):
- The Two Best Measurements of Effective Hospitality
- The Master Word that will Help You Find and Remove Hidden Faults
- 7 Areas to Form Your Action Plan
Weirdest Passing of the Peace Experience
Dear
Thanks for your kind concerns and prayers towards our worship centre & ministries among the Muslims & others which He has entrusted upon me & my wife. We both are very encouraged by your kind reply and prayers.
Since you are praying & interceding for us God has dealt with us and He has helped us to forgive to the thieves who had entered into our worship centre and damaged the building and stolen some money in the early morning of Friday 19th Jan. We are praying along with the believers that God might touch and speak to the hearts of these thieves and change their lives for His own glory.
There is need to pray that God might help us to repairs the broken or damaged grills, windows, doors, wall, Steel Almirahs etc., etc. and to make few new CCTV Cameras, grills, doors for the safety of the worship centre. We highly appreciate your continuous prayers for us & ministry.
Pray that the local believers of our both congregations (Friday & Sunday) might get burden in their hearts to give offerings to their Master’s works even though they are poor and not in big numbers.
Regards,
Bashir