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Obnoxious Habits in Personal Evangelism – The out of place transition

Last Updated: November 5, 2020 by EvangelismCoach

I once enjoyed a personal day with my family and a few friends.

We checked out of life, drove to the beach, and stared at the ocean for hours, while our children dug the proverbial hole to China.

The conversation among the adults was awesome.

Relationships were being strengthened as our families continued to learn about one another.

In those hours we talked about:

  • Electronics
  • Memories of similar beach trips
  • Vacation experiences
  • Words with Friends
  • Parenting
  • Plans for dinner
  • Our different work experiences.

Pray for an opening

I have been praying for our friends, asking the Lord to provide

  • conversational opportunities for me
  • evidence of their spiritual thirst.

I know that God’s sovereignty will provide the opportunity.

At one point in the discussion on parenting, my friend made a point about a particular aspect to parenting:

That is the most important thing in life.

In my mind, I quickly responded:

No, that’s not the most important thing, would you like me to tell you what is?

Person staring at a confusing street sign, which way to go
Photo credit: @Doug88888 via cc

I’ve had a lot of training in sharing the gospel, and teach a lot of different methods as well.

Many methods teach to look for the conversational opportunity and steer the conversation to Christ.

But in this moment, I chose to remain silent and let it go.

The obnoxious transition

The conversational context would have been entirely inappropriate for this radical departure from the topic at hand.

I would have forced the person into my conversation, rather than continue on the theme we were addressing.

This is the obnoxious transition in evangelism.

It would have been an obnoxious left turn in a otherwise profound conversation on parenting.

In my early zeal, I used to seize any opportunity like this opening in the conversation.

The end result was people got defensive and closed that door.

My forced transitions were obnoxious.

Not a spiritually active moment

A key part of my evangelism teaching on conversation skills is watching for the activity of the Holy Spirit.

When the Holy Spirit opens the doors, transitions to spiritual things are appropriate.

When the Holy Spirit is at work in the conversational moment, a conversational transition is easy to make.

Conversational transitions at this point are not obnoxious.

This conversational moment at the beach was not one of those moments.

I didn’t sense any activity of God in this general life conversation.

Had I forced the conversation with my obnoxious left turn, I would have stepped into my agenda rather than God’s agenda.

Related Resource:

I have a DVD set that focuses on a conversational style evangelism that would help you with:

  • casual conversation between friends
  • causal conversation between strangers

Read more about the Effective Evangelism Conversations in the store.  It is a recording of a live seminar I gave in 2012 and is available on 3 DVDs.

You might like to read . . .

  • The Power of Questions in Conversational Evangelism
  • Obnoxious Habits in Personal Evangelism - Aggressive Pitches
  • 10 ways to kickstart your Personal Evangelism this Summer
  • What is relational evangelism?
  • Obnoxious Habits in Personal Evangelism - Bait and Switch
  • 7 Detours in Evangelistic Conversation
  • Does an Invitation to Church Equal Evangelism?
  • How to Mess Up a Christmas Party with Evangelism
  • Live the calling of Evangelist
Related posts:
Evangelism Motives: Why bother?
8 Steps to Use Your Personal Testimony
Overcome Your Evangelism Fears: "I don't know what to say"
Review: The Unexpected Adventure Lee Strobel Mark Mittelberg
10 Questions to Debrief an Evangelism Conversation
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Originally Posted: March 11, 2013 Category: conversation, Personal EvangelismTag: conversation skills, Conversation starter, Personal Evangelism, skills
Previous Post:Can you fit your testimony on a poster board?
Next Post:Video: Tim Keller on Evangelism in the 21st Century

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mubarik Khuram Victor

    March 13, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    Dear Pastor, I like ur Dscusion very much, I am blessed to know u with such a very Dufferant Topic. Dear brother Iam Pastor Muabrik Khurak Vicotr of Calvary Gospel Ministreis in Pakistan. Why I Agree with you because I leanred about Personal Evalgalism in Youth With A Mission in Holland. I am Trained obver there for Evangalism.
    With same Habits I shared the Message with Punks, Prostitutes in Amsterdam and in European Countries long ago.
    Dear brother now in Paksitnan God is using me with the Conersation , by the Personal Freindship Evgalsim. It is very Effective. By Listening them accoding to their Habits we Make the Conersation Better with each other to Draw them to Christ. We must Respect Their Habits weather we like it or not.

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